I really hadn’t thought about the years that had passed, at least not in terms of the distance between the adult version of me and my childhood. I was aware of many other things, because I do consider my life to be well-examined, and sometimes perhaps a little too examined. I do like to reflect over every change, small and large, at the moment that it’s happening. It’s a reflect that kicks in very fast for me, and sometimes it might even keep me from being in the moment. But then there are times when I’m engaged in extremely mundane and reflective activities, when the reflex kicks in and is very helpful, and even a little useful. This was the case when I found myself washing my parent’s windows.
It was a bigger job than I thought, and I tried not to act like a sullen kid when I started to get into the work, but I was grumbling inside. When I discovered that my mother had changed out the old green curtains, however, for new Next Day Blinds, animosity fell away very quickly. They’re awfully lovely, and I admired the materials and the craftsmanship. I’d like to say I get this from my father’s side, just to sound more in line with the gender roles of the day, but in truth, I get it from my mother. She’s always appreciated things that are well-made, and although they’ve never been wealthy people, they have nice things. I do like to think they get their taste from me, however.
Whatever reservations I had about the effort went away as well, when I realized it was near freezing outside, and the work was helping me to keep warm. This was something they wanted before the holiday season, because they’d recently started to have parties in their house for all their friends. I wanted it to be nice, because some of those friends were my friend’s parents, who’d seen me causing trouble in their own houses over the years, and I wanted them to see that I’d changed, too. I don’t know how my ego got so involved, but it was quick, and very deep, too. Some of this dust was from yesterday, sure, but some of it must have been a couple decades old. This is who I was, and who I used to be. But when I caught a glimpse of the Next Day Blinds from the other side of the window, I had to laugh. Things had changed, and new memories were on their way.